The Hidden Cost of What Isn’t Said

At a recent workshop designed to help a struggling ad-hoc work team, we began with a list of obstacles; things that were in the way of the team performing at the desired level. The list was extensive. Coming late to meetings, not being prepared, lack of energy and enthusiasm, cynicism, poor communication and absence of clear goals and direction were some of the problems listed. All were true and in place to be sure. But they are symptoms tied to a fundamental, underlying cause: Lack of trust.

An essential element of building trust is truthfulness. That requires no small amount of courage. It’s not often easy to say what really needs to be said whether in one-on-one meetings or in a group setting. But what needs to be said isn’t left unsaid. It is most often expressed in a non-productive way; after the meeting and in a setting that cannot bring any useful resolution or productive change.

The ability to communicate effectively, directly with confidence and conviction is a skill and as with any skill, it requires training and practice. Absent that, members struggle to find the right words and the proper placement and timing to convey things that might be met with resistance, frustration, defensiveness, and outright hostility by the other party. Fearful of that and of possibly causing irreparable damage to relationships, the matter is left alone. But the issue(s) remain, unaddressed and likely to worsen over time.

The best performing teams share two common traits: Trust and confidence in themselves and in each other. The two terms are often used as though they are synonymous. They are not. Confidence speaks to the matter of ability, experience, competency, and know-how. Trust speaks to the matter of motive, intention, integrity, and character.

Conducting a meeting in an atmosphere of productivity requires what I call “The Four D’s”:  Decorum, dignity, discretion, and decency. Agreeing to and maintaining an atmosphere of civility is a must if challenges, obstacles, issues, and opportunities are to be dealt with head-on and in a productive manner.

The absence of this skill set is common not only among ad-hoc work teams but in senior leadership teams as well. Understanding that training, preparation, and essential skill development are basic, essential ingredients in serving on and leading productive teams is an important first step.

For more information on skill development for effective team leadership, contact me at joe@ajstrategy.com