Bits and Pieces: Lotto Hit Aids Small Printer

Since the owner was nowhere to be found, employee Michelle Wells scooped up the critter and volunteered to look after it until…wait! A rogue turtle crawling into a printing shop is worth reporting? Are they nuts or something? Of course, that makes Bits and Pieces worse for passing it along.

Anyway, Michelle and her husband, Kristian, are keen on returning the tortoise to its rightful owner. As writers, we're contractually obligated to use the word "keen" in any story about British folk. Use of the word in the United States pretty much died in the 1960s.