Mañana University Pop Quiz on Effective Printing Sales -Harris Dewese

First, Some Background Information from Harris...

The Mañana Man, not me, your good buddy, Harris DeWese, has been given a lifetime appointment as "His Excellency, Supreme Sales and Marketing General, and Impresario" to the printing industry worldwide.

For the life of me, I do not understand what people like about the  Mañana Man.

I do all the typing.

I have all the best ideas.

I'm the great speller.

I'm the pretty one.

I can parallel park.

His grammar is atrocious.

The Mañana Man wears that silly sombrero.

There is always some day-old sauce on his droopy moustache.

His vocabulary is limited to words like baby-back ribs, onion rings and Pabst Blue Ribbon.

His favorite expression is, "I'll git aroun' to it mañana."

He wears shorts and flip flops.

He has no class, but you still make him your hero?

I should have gotten that big Supreme whatever appointment with its lifetime salary and chauffeured limousine.

And now, I have to type his official statement to the industry. Well, here goes.

...Now, Mañana Man Lectures the Class

"With great humility, I accept this well-deserved appointment. I understand why you rejected my typist, DeWesecompoop.

I have enormous power with this exalted role, and I intend to speak my great mind.

Stop referring to yourselves as "solutions providers." It's insulting to your clients and prospects.

You can think of yourselves as problem solvers. Just don't advertise it. If you are overt, you are saying, "You've got problems and I'm here to bail you out." Wrong!

I began selling in 1956 at age 14. It was at the Rogers Department Store in Brooksville, FL, and I worked in the shoe department.

I wasn't very good at first, but I got better as I learned from my customers. About the age of 35, it occurred to me that it was a mistake to think I could sell everything to everybody on day one.

I became successful at selling a new account one thing, becoming a faithful and friendly servant, and spending as much time with the account as was reasonable and not intrusive.

Through the first penetration of the account, and then by spending time with it, I would listen for other needs. Through artful suggestive selling, I would then sell the account more and more. And, in spite of my humility, I'm not talking about chump change. I sold several accounts more than $5 million annually, and dozens of accounts in the $1 million to $5 million range.

And, I did it by listening and suggesting. Never once did I announce, "You've got a problem and I'm your hero here to save your butt."

So, here's my first Exalted Proclamation: No more openly calling yourselves "Mr. Solution" or Solutions Incorporated." Everyone is calling themselves "solutions something." It's insulting and does not differentiate you or your company from your lousy competitors.

When you reach the promised land with a client, she/he will think to themselves, "Mary has become a good and valuable partner." There will be nothing said about you being a solutions provider.

Remember, your job is to serve and to serve spectacularly.

My next Proclamation is to ignore those people who claim to know the secrets of the "Hybrid Salesperson" or the "Future Salesperson." These claims are only aimed at attracting you to attend their seminars, where you will be disappointed that you learned nothing and paid a lot.

To master good sales behavior, learn and practice the fundamental selling skills (the same ones that existed in 1902), become expert in the most advanced technology relative to your market, and then serve, serve some more and serve spectacularly.

It is my great honor and a challenge to serve you. If I rankled you, I'm just too arrogant to care."

WELCOME BACK to class.

For you newcomers, you're sitting in a classroom on the beautiful campus at Mañana University (MU) where you will be studying to earn your PhD in the sale of print communications and related services.

If you are feeling hung over from the football pep rally last night, and mistakenly wandered into this class, you better get out of here. I'm giving a pop quiz and you could be embarrassed. Football season is six months away and I know you just wanted an excuse to build a bonfire, drink beer and watch the cavorting cheerleaders and majorettes.

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Hey, Spring Break is Over —DeWese