Mañana University Pop Quiz on Effective Printing Sales -Harris Dewese

First, Some Background Information from Harris...

The Mañana Man, not me, your good buddy, Harris DeWese, has been given a lifetime appointment as "His Excellency, Supreme Sales and Marketing General, and Impresario" to the printing industry worldwide.

For the life of me, I do not understand what people like about the  Mañana Man.

I do all the typing.

I have all the best ideas.

I'm the great speller.

I'm the pretty one.

I can parallel park.

His grammar is atrocious.

The Mañana Man wears that silly sombrero.

There is always some day-old sauce on his droopy moustache.

His vocabulary is limited to words like baby-back ribs, onion rings and Pabst Blue Ribbon.

His favorite expression is, "I'll git aroun' to it mañana."

He wears shorts and flip flops.

He has no class, but you still make him your hero?

I should have gotten that big Supreme whatever appointment with its lifetime salary and chauffeured limousine.

And now, I have to type his official statement to the industry. Well, here goes.

...Now, Mañana Man Lectures the Class

"With great humility, I accept this well-deserved appointment. I understand why you rejected my typist, DeWesecompoop.

I have enormous power with this exalted role, and I intend to speak my great mind.

Stop referring to yourselves as "solutions providers." It's insulting to your clients and prospects.

You can think of yourselves as problem solvers. Just don't advertise it. If you are overt, you are saying, "You've got problems and I'm here to bail you out." Wrong!

I began selling in 1956 at age 14. It was at the Rogers Department Store in Brooksville, FL, and I worked in the shoe department.

I wasn't very good at first, but I got better as I learned from my customers. About the age of 35, it occurred to me that it was a mistake to think I could sell everything to everybody on day one.

I became successful at selling a new account one thing, becoming a faithful and friendly servant, and spending as much time with the account as was reasonable and not intrusive.

Through the first penetration of the account, and then by spending time with it, I would listen for other needs. Through artful suggestive selling, I would then sell the account more and more. And, in spite of my humility, I'm not talking about chump change. I sold several accounts more than $5 million annually, and dozens of accounts in the $1 million to $5 million range.

And, I did it by listening and suggesting. Never once did I announce, "You've got a problem and I'm your hero here to save your butt."

So, here's my first Exalted Proclamation: No more openly calling yourselves "Mr. Solution" or Solutions Incorporated." Everyone is calling themselves "solutions something." It's insulting and does not differentiate you or your company from your lousy competitors.

When you reach the promised land with a client, she/he will think to themselves, "Mary has become a good and valuable partner." There will be nothing said about you being a solutions provider.

Remember, your job is to serve and to serve spectacularly.

My next Proclamation is to ignore those people who claim to know the secrets of the "Hybrid Salesperson" or the "Future Salesperson." These claims are only aimed at attracting you to attend their seminars, where you will be disappointed that you learned nothing and paid a lot.

To master good sales behavior, learn and practice the fundamental selling skills (the same ones that existed in 1902), become expert in the most advanced technology relative to your market, and then serve, serve some more and serve spectacularly.

It is my great honor and a challenge to serve you. If I rankled you, I'm just too arrogant to care."

WELCOME BACK to class.

For you newcomers, you're sitting in a classroom on the beautiful campus at Mañana University (MU) where you will be studying to earn your PhD in the sale of print communications and related services.

If you are feeling hung over from the football pep rally last night, and mistakenly wandered into this class, you better get out of here. I'm giving a pop quiz and you could be embarrassed. Football season is six months away and I know you just wanted an excuse to build a bonfire, drink beer and watch the cavorting cheerleaders and majorettes.

First, let me say that I am grieved "MU" did not make it into the NCAA tournament. I understand that a 0-32 record will never qualify us for March Madness. I am actively trying to recruit some players who are more than 6´tall, with a vertical leap of over 2´. It's difficult. You remember a film a few years back that starred Woody Harrelson; I think it was titled "Print Salespeople Can't Jump." Our power forward is 5´7.5˝ and weighs 306 pounds. You have all seen her exhausted after just two or three trips up and down the court.

Alright, then, grab a few sheets of blank paper and your pens or pencils. Those of you using crayons should remember to stick to one color. This is a quiz, not a design competition. Answer the following questions truthfully:

1. List the bona fide sales you made that were produced and billed during the previous 30 days.

2. List the face-to-face sales calls you made during the previous 30 days. Break them down in categories by existing customers and prospective clients.

3. List the names of the prospective accounts that you researched and contacted during the previous 30 days.

4. List the account review meetings you conducted with both clients and the appropriate personnel from your own company.

5. What, if any, new business opportunities arose during the account review meetings?

6. Can you legitimately say you solved a problem for any client during the past 30 days?

7. This is an essay question. Write three paragraphs about your three most significant accomplishments during the past 30 days.

File this quiz in a three-ring binder. I may ask to inspect your binder at any time without notice.

I have a guest lecturer today, and his lecture, preceded by my commentary, is presented below as a separate sidebar. He is a long-time colleague and actually has something worthwhile to contribute once in a while. He is the Mañana Man. I urge you to rub your eyes, pinch your cheeks and read his lecture carefully.

The homework assignment for your next class is to write a paragraph about each of the following sales and marketing competencies and characteristics. They include time management, pre-call planning, closing techniques, listening skills, oral communications and written communications.

Discuss the importance of each of these characteristics as they relate to your company and the market(s) it serves.

Next month, there will be another list for self-assessment.

Congratulations! You are making progress toward your doctorate. Remember, however, that while you are studying, you must still get out there and sell something! PI

—Harris DeWese

About the Author
Harris DeWese is the author of "Now Get Out There and Sell Something" and "The Mañana Man, Books II and III," available at www.piworld.com/bookstore. He is chairman of Compass Capital Partners and also authors the annual "Compass Report." DeWese has completed more than 150 printing company transactions and is viewed as the industry's preeminent deal maker. He can be reached via e-mail at HDeWese@CompassCapLtd.com.

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Hey, Spring Break is Over —DeWese