Meeting of the Minds --DeWese
I am writing this column on April 6, 2005. It's about 5:30 a.m. and I have got to finish this thing because Attila the Editor and his nefarious henchman, Chris Bauer, the managing editor, are insisting that they need it today so they can lay out the May edition of the magazine. Reread that last sentence with a whiny insistence in your voice and you will hear what I heard when they called to check on my progress.
It's been 61 days since I quit smoking cold turkey and this kind of pressure isn't making it any easier.
Now I can't drink—too many empty calories in booze. No more hot fudge sundaes with whipped cream on top 'cause there's too much sugar and fat.
No more bread, you know, there's too many carbs.
What is left to alleviate my anxieties? I haven't been able to get a girlfriend. It seems that I am now old, fat and ugly, when I just used to be fat and ugly.
Furthermore, you would think that my wife of 15,488 days, Attila the Nun, would back off and cut me a little slack.
Somehow, she holds me personally responsible for everything that goes wrong, including her perception of the things that are wrong with the Bush administration and that the dishwasher isn't getting the tableware clean enough. Gosh, I hand wash all the pots, pans, dishes and silver before I load them in the brand new Maytag. I'm never invited to any White House policy sessions. I'm not going through another FBI investigation again.
When I just happened to make a few e-mail suggestions a couple of years ago to then-President Bill and Senator Hillary Rodham-Clinton, the FBI camped out in my front yard for three days. They finally pronounced me a "solid citizen" after I won them over with my renowned breakfasts and all the fried chicken they could eat washed down with sweet tea or Rolling Rock.
For Starters
Okay, you readers need to muster up and get in here so I can start this column. I don't need any more stress.
By the way, there is no smoking in any more of these columns. That whole back section is now off limits to you smokers. From now on, this is a non-smoking column since I am now one of those holier-than-thou non-smokers.
Okay! The column is called to order. Is there any new business? I recognize Alan here in the front row.
"I have admired and respected your position and your input to the printing industry for many years," Alan points out. I love it when readers show me a little respect. I damn sure don't get any at home.
Alan continues, "I worked at So and So Graphics (name disguised to protect the innocent) for 15 years, eight selling and seven as sales manager. I recall your touring the plant just before it was sold. Now I am sales manager at another company and I follow your column closely. In your February column you mentioned that you are looking for new sources of material. I'd like to suggest that you consider approaching the 'reverse auction' bidding process recently activated by the United States Postal Service. From the printer's side, I think it's a slap in the face."
Alan, I have to wait until the rest of the readers sit down and stop cheering and applauding your suggestion. You'd think the magazine would give me a gavel for these situations.
(Do I smell smoke? Are some of you in the back smoking?)
Thank you Alan. We all share your anger and frustration with the sinister scheme invented by consultants who are billing their clients way more than they are saving printing expenses. They are also costing their clients the value of loyal supplier relationships—the kind of relationships that are rewarded by many Fortune 1000-type print buyers.
Roy Grossman is one of our nation's top printing executives. He's president and CEO at Sandy Alexander Inc., one of America's largest independent, full-service graphic communications companies. Located in Clifton, NJ, Sandy Alexander is a huge, super-high-quality, up-to-eight units heatset web, up-to-eight units sheetfed and an exciting digital press department.
Some of the largest and most demanding print buyers come to Sandy Alexander for their projects. A team of our industry's most talented and experienced sales professionals serve these clients. Not long ago, fed up with the reverse auction trend, Sandy Alexander sent the letter reprinted below to a very desirable prospect that has hired cost-cutting consultants who undoubtedly promised to save 25 percent to 35 percent annually on their printing expense.
Dear Mr. Pharmaceutical Purchasing Guy,
Thank you very much for providing Sandy Alexander with the opportunity to participate in your print bid. Unfortunately, we are declining the invitation to participate in this event.
Specifically, we receive a very significant number of requests to participate in what are essentially "consultant driven" exercises that do little more than build a file of data that never gets reviewed, with the only real beneficiary being the consultant that collects a substantial fee for little to no effort. To comply with the requests requires a major time and cost investment on our part, with very small probabilities of realizing a return on our investment.
We have no doubt that Sandy Alexander can meet or exceed your quality, service and cost expectations, while providing access to the most current technology in the printing industry.
While we certainly would welcome the opportunity to work with you (and, in fact, have made many attempts to do so in the past), the method being utilized to solicit your business does not promote the type of mutually beneficial relationship that will result in true cost-effectiveness for your company.
If you would like to consider Sandy Alexander as a resource, I would be more than happy to meet with you at your convenience. Please do not hesitate to contact me.
Award Winning Writing
Whoever wrote this letter should get a Pulitzer Prize for exemplary business communications. How better could you say "NO" without telling the prospect to take a long walk?
Alan, this excellent letter should help you frame a "position" for you, your sales team and your company. Your company is in a completely different printing segment and I'm sorry to hear that reverse auctions have also invaded your arena.
My solutions are always too simple. If everybody will just say no to reverse auctions, there will be no more reverse auctions. And if everybody will just raise prices 10 percent, there will be a slight profit in the printing business.
Okay. It's time for old "bidness."
It's too soon to announce the winners from my April column. I'll do that in my June column.
That gang of sales hooligans in the back is dying for a cigarette, so I better adjourn this meeting before they get surly. Let's adjourn with our closing promise. Everybody please stand!
One, two, three: "We're going out and selling something."
—Harris DeWese
About the Author
Harris DeWese is the author of Now Get Out There and Sell Something, available through NAPL or PIA/GATF. He is chairman and CEO at Compass Capital Partners and is an author of the annual "Compass Report," the definitive source of information regarding printing industry M&A activity. He specializes in investment banking, mergers and acquisitions, sales, marketing, planning and management services to printing companies. He can be reached via e-mail at DeWeseH@ComCapLtd.com.
