Star Bores -- Lessons From Hollywood

Jack Nicholson just won best actor. Now, there's a guy who never tells you how good he is, and he is never a crashing bore. He's just good. (Robert Duvall, my favorite, didn't win. Likewise, he would never tell anybody how good he is.)

If my novel ever became a film, I'd want Robert Duvall and Jack Nicholson to star in it. But that novel is best saved in sector 608, partition 31, of this hard drive. You may not know this, but every columnist believes there is a novel in him or her. I'm no exception.