The 'Normal' Kidnapper -- DeWese

I simply must eliminate all professional athletes, especially NFL players who celebrate their accomplishments no matter how minor and even when their team is losing. I'm going to start celebrating my minor accomplishments (most of mine are trifling). Say for example, I show up for a meeting on time. I'll conceive a dance where I spike my attaché on the conference table and do about 10 seconds of the "funky chicken." Cutting out the celebrating athletes leaves us with only 310,865 people who are potentially "normal."