Being Watched: The Unseen Influence of Leadership

Credit: Jean Hull

Do you ever feel like you’re being watched? Do you ever have that sense…”somebody is watching me?” Surely, we all have.

I’ve shared this story before. Years ago, I was agitated with a young employee. I had taken him under my wing and made him my personal development project. He had made what I felt was a bad decision and I was mad.

Without thinking I grabbed my phone and called his extension. Fortunately, he didn’t answer. His voicemail picked up and his greeting started. It was word for word, exactly like mine.

A little voice in my head said, “he’s watching you. He’s learning from you. He’s trying to do what he thinks you would do. He wants to be successful.”

I dropped my phone back in its cradle and took time to cool down. When I got my wits about me, I tracked him down, asked a few questions and led him to a different decision. We solved our problem, whatever it was, without me making an ass of myself and without crushing his spirit.

Here’s the deal. If you enjoy success of any measure you’re being watched. Coworkers are curious. How you do what you do and how you live thanks to your success are topics of interest. You’re never outside of someone’s view.

What do you want them to see?

I thought about that a lot, after my voicemail discovery. I didn’t want to wreck anyone’s path. I didn’t want to look like a jerk either.

I decided it was ok to let others see how hard things were. I didn’t mind if they saw how much thought and effort it took to make things better. I didn’t play the martyr, but I didn’t soft soap things either.

I also decided it was ok to let people see me fail. Failure is part of growth. I let my peers see that failure wasn’t fatal. It’s an event not a person. It’s temporary. It’s an obstacle you work around and past.

I decided it was ok to let staff see frustration. Righteous Indignation was fine. Personal anger or disgust aimed at another was not. Those things deserve to be managed in private.

Embracing these things made me more approachable. We were a team. Success and failure were group owned. More is possible with that mindset, by the way.

So, my question for you is what is your list? You’re definitely being watched. If you’re the boss, every employee sees or thinks they see what you’re doing. They have an opinion of you and the business based on what they see.

Someone is deciding what works, what is acceptable and what is notable based on how they see you conduct business. Daunting isn’t it? It sure was for me.